Scars of a First Kiss
by TakeBackTheFalls
Summary: After an unexpected first kiss, a still pregnant Quinn Fabray tries to win Mercedes over, which Kurt heavily disapproves of. While trying to juggle her feelings for Cedes, the knife cuts on her arms and suicidal thoughts swimming through her head aren't helping the case
1. First Kiss

**Guys, this fandom is...Interesting. We have all kinds of ships that we love, but honestly we don't have enough Quinncedes fanfictions, so I decided to make them. Their background friendship moments were always so cute, they've been my OTP ever since Quinn helped her love her body. I don't own anything except for the device I'm writing it in.**

If anything were to ever be ruined permanently for Quinn Fabray, she would've never guessed it would be pizza.

The pregnant ex-cheerio straightened her posture and adjusted her red "CHEESER'S SUPER PIZZA!" hat till it covered her eyes and embarrassed frown. It was one night, one night of _"screw tomorrow we got tonight!"_ And the next thing she knew she lost her quarterback boyfriend and in a matter of months her stomach would be the size of a watermelon.

After Finn's hearbreak due to her betrayal, Noah Puckerman ran to her feet whining "WAH WAH WAH, I CAN GET A JOB I PROMISE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIFT A FINGER!"

Yet here she was, pregnant in a fast food uniform, serving cold pizzas to complete strangers, while Puck was throwing the ball around the football court.

The job didn't involve her doing much, she just sat at the counter, took people's orders, and went back behind the counter. Still, it was more than Puck was bringing in, damn him.

The only perk Quinn enjoyed about this job was the fact that it gave her an excuse to wear a high pony through her cap. It was the only string of connection to being a Cheerio she had left.

On the other hand, it could be worse, her belly wasn't large enough to make her look like a manatee yet, just enough to make it look like she had a big lunch.

"Ugh, if Rachel wanted to throw up all her meals to decrease her chubbiness should've just kept doing it" a familiar voice in the distance gossiped. Quinn's head instantly spun around, only to find half the Cheerios from McKinley, still in their uniforms, being led by Santana to the booth in the back. "I heard the pizza here is really good, so when they clear our plates complain about it so they can give us more for free."

 _Crap, what were they doing here? The popular kids NEVER came here! Shit shit shit shit..._

Quinn winced and ducked behind the counter, hands and knees on the dusty floor. A few of her co-workers gave her distasteful glances, but decided they didn't want to know or care why she was down there and went about their duties. _Please don't see me please don't see me_.

Santana shooed the Cheerios off and strutted up to the counter, "Sodas for me and my friends, with fancy straws." A random employee nodded and walked over to the fridge to pick some up.

After what felt like forever, the idiot finally gave the Latina her damn drink and she went back to her seat, spitting in one of the drinks.

"Thank God" Quinn sighed with relief.

"Quinn?"

Quinn jumped at the harshness of the voice and looked up at her annoyed manager standing above.

"What are you doing?"

"Uhhh...squats?"

He sighed, "Quinn, just go to that table of preppy cheerleadeers wearing the red and white uniforms, they need their orders taken."

"But-"

"Now."

Quinn huffed in exasperation and crawled away, standing up the second she was visible to the customers and shuffled quickly over to the table of ex-friends.

"Hey is that tubbers?" Santana practically had to climb over Brittany's lap to be sure because of how cramped their booth was, smirking menacingly at the blonde.

"Of course it is" Brittany said, "look at her stomach."

Quinn could feel blood rush to her cheeks and her face become warm despite the heavy air condition.

"HEY TUBBERS!" Santana shrieked. She waved her over to the booth the cheerio were sitting at. Quinn wanted to leave, she wanted to walk back into the kitchen where she was safe with the chubby chefs and smell of tomatoes. If only her manager hadn't been looking.

"Guys can we please make this quick?" Quinn choked out miserably, "I'm not in the mood."

"So, you work here don't you?" Santana fingered the rim of her soda straw and gave her a mocking grin. A knot formed in Quinn's stomach. Santana had more power over her, and she knew it. That used to be her, she would've been the one to give people a rude remark and have all her friends laugh along. Now she was at the bottom, glee club, pregnant, the permanent label of "WHORE" basically tattooed on her forehead.

As Santana sipped her soda, Quinn could tell just by her laughing eyes that she was testing her.

Testing her temper.

Testing how far over the edge she could go.

 _Do something, I dare you_ , Santana's eyes taunted at her.

"Well due to the fact I'm wearing a Cheeser's uniform with a red collar shirt and taking your order that detail should've be quite obvious." Quinn calmly stated. Her eyes stayed on her notepad, though she had a feeling she probably wouldn't be writing anything in it.

"Hmm, interesting" Santana crossed her arms and her smirk disappeared, obviously not amused by Quinn's sarcastic remark. "I guess it goes to show you hit rock bottom. Makes sense, we all knew you were a slut." The cheerios giggled like hyenas, some of them high-fiving Santana while the others just sipping out of their fancy little pink straws and rolling their eyes at Quinn.

"Get used to it." A short Cheerio with long black hair joined it, "cause you'll probably be working here until at least retirement."

"Uh, the customers aren't supposed to talk to their slaves. Can you just take our order?" Another one chirped impatiently.

Quinn inhaled deeply through her nose and closed her eyes. _Dear Jesus, I know I've been sort of a bitch in the past, but can you please let these girls brush Satan's teeth in hell and feed his hellhounds for the rest of their afterlives? Amen._

She rubbed her sleeve awkwardly to feel all the razor cuts that hidden underneath the cotton, careful not to draw any blood. The uniform was originally short sleeved, but Quinn always wore a white long sleeve shirt under it in embarrassment. She already knew nobody wanted to see her deep cuts.

"Fine." Quinn faked a small smile, "what would you like?"

"Uh, pizza? Duh! Did you think we came to a pizza place to order Chinese food?" Santana rolled her eyes, "Just hurry up."

"Wait, how do we know she's not going to spit on our food when she cooks it?" Brittany asked.

"I don't cook the food." Quinn managed to say through gritted teeth "I just work at the counter."

"Good, well then why don't you go back over there and keep it that way." A ginger Cheerio scoffed, shooing her off.

Quinn squeezed her eyes shut and threw the notepad on the floor. She didn't get it, one mistake and she was labeled for life. She was supposed to ignore it and keep holding on, but it was hard when there was nothing to hold onto anymore. The girl's arms were shivering dangerously, but fire raced through her veins. The other cheerios stared at her, confused that there was a waitress still standing at there table having a mental breakdown in front of them. _Just breathe, Quinn, breathe. Once your shift finally comes to an end you can come home and do it again. The knives are in daddy's special cabinet, you've been able to cover up your scars once you can do it again. When the cold blade breaks the skin and the warm red blood spills your mouth will water with satisfaction. Hell, if you could go without fainting again you could even write the suicide note on the tiny bump of your stomach._

"Uhhh..." Santana shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Quinn's once rosy cheeks were now a dark shade of red. Her face muscles twitched a little, so San could tell her inner thoughts were torturing her. "Are you alright?"

"We used to be friends" Quinn spat out quickly before Santana could even pronounce the last syllable of 'alright'. "Do you remember that?" The blonde was no longer standing there with her eyes closed and breathing heavily, for her eyes were big puffy blood moons and were shooting lasers at her.

Santana tried to glare back at her, but after about five seconds she dropped them with discomfort, "Yeah, I guess."

"We used to-" she took a shaky breath, it's been a while since she had a full conversation with Santana without backing down but it would look silly if she didn't continue, "We used to lounge in the hot tub with the jets on, wearing nothing but our bikini bottoms."

She didn't know if she was just imagining it, but she swore she could see some of the Cheerios looking nostalgic as she described the past.

"We'd play footsies in the water and tell horror stories about the blemishes that roamed Rachel Berry's face." Quinn couldn't help but smile a little remembering this, Santana had always told the best stories but Brittany's were always the scariest. One of their stories left her having to check under her bed every five minutes to be sure Rachel's zits weren't down there ready to oil up her face.

Quinn scanned the eyes of the Cheerios one by one, their eyes all closed in on her. She stared at Brittany the longest, until she bit her lip and looked down at her soda.

"Well," Santana was the first to shake away the trance of Memory Lane, "on the bright side now we can tell horror stories about your stretch marks. Bye!"

Quinn shook her head slowly with disbelief. Couldn't these bitches take a hint?

"You know what? I'm glad we're not friends anymore. In fact, I am disgusted that I even considered crushing on any of you."

"Wait what?" A random Cheerio asked, but her comment was ignored.

"Bringing other people down will never bring you to the top. And I may not be at the top right now, but I will be. And you'll be sorry."

"Then why are you here?" Santana crossed her arms in amusement, "if you don't miss us why did you try to win us over with that story?"

Quinn slumped her shoulders in defeat, "I guess I just thought telling about our good times would win me back a friend."

Silence.

"Oh well." She turned head over to the ginger Cheerio whom was trying not to laugh. "And for the record, she spit in your soda"

The ginger gagged and spilt her soda onto the floor.

"Uh, excuse me." Santana ignored the ginger's loud curses and complaints and pointed at the mess she made on the floor. "Clean that up, employee of the month."

Quinn spun around on her heel and stormed off, trying to ignore the girls snickering behind her.

 _SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP_

Quinn kept walking, it was obviously just one of the demanding Cheerios or some other customer.

 _SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP!_

"Shut up.." Quinn whispered through gritted teeth.

 _SNAP SNAP SNAP!_

Each snap was like another knife jab to her back. She wasn't used to people being rude to her, she wasn't used to being treated like shit. She hated her job, she hated her new position in the school food chain, she hated the new her, and she hated sex, she hated being alive in a world that didn't even want her.

 _SNAP!_

"Bitch if you want someone to take your fucking order use your words instead of snapping like some idiot-" Quinn spun around to the sound, only to find Mercedes sitting at the booth closest to the door snapping for her attention.

"Mercedes!"

"What's up Honey Boo-Boo?" Mercedes grinned and waved her over, "you okay? You looked like you were just crying"

"No" Quinn dramatically threw herself onto the booth across from Mercedes, thankful the red cushions were there to protect her, "I really hate this job."

"I'd imagine, this pizza tastes like cardboard" Mercedes joked. No reaction was given from Quinn, which concerned Mercedes, "Wanna talk?"

Quinn sighed, "You'd think it's dumb."

Mercedes smiled at the emotional girl and grabbed her arm, forcing their fingers to intertwine. "Try me"

Quinn couldn't help but turn the edges of her mouth upwards in spite of herself, only to fall apart seconds after. "I'm just...so tired of people calling me names like slut and whore." She hiccuped and whimpered after every word, using her non occupied hand to cover up her eyes. "I regret what I did, to Finn and to myself and to Puck. I really really really am sorry, and nobody accepts it because they all think I'm a terrible person that has no purpose but to sleep with others. I lost my virginity to Puck, it was one night and I learned my lesson. I'll never have sex again after all this, I never want to break a heart ever again."

"Aww, baby..." Mercedes rubbed circles with her thumbs in Quinn's hand for comfort, but she continued to sob.

"Listen to me," she used her other hand to grab Quinn's jaw and pull it to face her, "Nobody has the right to define you." Quinn's squeaking and whimpering stopped, deeply focusing on Mercedes' eyes as she spoke.

"You are whoever you say you are, and screw everyone's opinion if they don't see that you are the most amazing, talented, sexiest..."

Quinn laughed a little and squeezed her hand tighter as she continued

"and smartest girl at McKinley. I don't think you're a slut. You made a mistake, and I respect that you regret it. All you need is another chance, and I just know the good Lord will give it to you. Now, get back to that kitchen and spit on that Santana Lopez's pizza as many times as possible."

Quinn sniffed and pulled her hand away to wipe away leftover tears "Wow," she stifled a little laugh, impressive at how well that lecture worked, "You're better at pep-talks than Mr. Schue"

Mercedes laughed.

"I didn't know you worked here."

"Unfortunately I do. Now that Santana and her minions know they'll probably come every day just to torture me."

Mercedes stick her lip out in sympathy and glanced over at the Cheerios as they whispered to each other and constantly looked over their shoulders at them.

"Ugh, I am so happy to run into a friend here." Quinn smiled gratefully at Mercedes, "What are you doing here anyways?"

"Well, I was supposed to be here with Kurt but-"

"Let me guess, he bailed?" Quinn finished. Mercedes nodded and gave a little shrug.

They stared at each other in silence for a while, just soaking up each other's awesomeness when a thought flew into Quinn's mind and she started to burst into laughter.

"What?" Mercedes raised an eyebrow at the blonde dying hysterically in front of her.

"Oh...n-n-nothing.. _PFFFT_ -" Quinn bit her fist, trying to stop her avalanche of giggles but it didn't stop her shoulders from bouncing.

"Great, now I'm curious! Tell me what is so damn funny?"

"Well..." Quinn paused for another giggle break, "I always thought your friendship with Kurt was so _STUPID_ " the pregnant girl banged the table with her first, hunching over to laugh again.

"Well I don't see anything funny about it." The diva crossed her arms.

"Come on Mercedes, we all know you had a crush on Kurt. Don't you ever feel awkward around him knowing that he knew about your feelings and pretending it's no big deal?"

Mercedes blushed a little and shrunk down into the cushions of the red booth. "I mean I guess it's a little weird..."

"EXACTLY! God, and when you got the nerve to ask him out he lied to you about it."

"I guess."

"I don't think he's a very good best friend for you..." Quinn said softly. The blonde drummed her middle and index finger on the table, pretending they were two legs and making them walk over to Mercedes' hand.

"Well...you are the reason I'm still here feeling comfortable in my body, so maybe your judgement isn't wrong." Mercedes acknowledged. Quinn put her index finger up to her chin and tilted her head to the side.

"Yes, I guess I did. And how did Kurt respond to that situation?"

Mercedes wrinkled her nose with regret at her choice of words. Damn it, she got her tied down. "He..."

"He what? What? Sorry I can't hear you say that again!" Quinn teasingly cupped her hand around her ear and leaned in closer as if she were a senior citizen.

"He might have encouraged it." Mercedes sighed with defeat, "but he apologized and admitted he was wrong!"

"Interesting. So, when your 'best friend' has an eating disorder, the right way to handle it is to tell her to continue doing the thing that harms her? Well then..."

"He comes through" Mercedes argued, only getting an eyeroll of disbelief in return.

"Maybe you have a point," Mercedes sighed "but I can't just-"

"See? Kurt doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you! And if he can't see how great, and beautiful, and absolutely flawless you are well screw him."

"Oh please, are you suggesting I make you my new best friend? I can't just dump Kurt like that!"

"Come on Cedes. Kurt may try an act like a girl, but you need a bestie that understands the struggles of a girl. Everyone needs a girl in their life to love, and I love you. If there's anything we both need right now it's a woman."

Mercedes was speechless, she loved Quinn but she never saw her as the concerned 'lovey dove's type.

"Hey, you know what Kurt would be saying right now if he hadn't stood you up tonight?"

She shrugged.

"He'd say," the blonde cleared her throat and continued in her best Kurt impersonation, which for some reason was in a British accent " _'Mercedes you shouldn't eat pizza. You have to loose a gabillion pounds or else Coach is gonna kick us off the team, blah blah blah'"_ she gave a mockingly sassy hair flip to continue the mocking.

Mercedes knew she shouldn't have laughed, but she did. "Lay off Quinn," she playfully nudged her in the shoulder, "He's not _that_ bad."

"He is in my eyes" Quinn's tone suddenly became cold, but Cedes decided not to take that as a red flag.

Mercedes smiled, a little embarrassed. "I guess Kurt is painful to have around after I asked him out. I never actually.." Mercedes smile disappeared "I never had a guy like me before. Like..."like-like" me."

Quinn Fabray subtly licked the top row of her teeth and leaned forward a little to focus on her timid eyes. Dark brown, melancholy with a sprinkle of loss hope. "I think that's a good thing. Now other women won't be discouraged by the competition. I need to ask you something, girl to girl."

Mercedes sighed. Whatever her weird flirty question it was it couldn't possibly be any weirder than this entire conversation has been.

"Who was your first kiss?"

Mercedes raised an eyebrow at her, as if to say _'isn't it obvious?'_

"I never had one."

Quinn smiled at her and leaned over the table, at the point where she was on her knees in the booth an her stomach practically on the table separating the two.

"Quinn..."

Quinn and Mercedes' faces were now only three inches apart, close enough for Mercedes to be able to tell what kind of toothpaste she used just by the breathing coming out of her nose.

"Permission?" Quinn whispered softly. She gently put her hand up to Mercedes cheek and brushed a loose piece of weave behind her ear. Mercedes', despite her dark skin, was positive that the amount of heat she could feel in her cheeks made her red as a clown's lipstick. It should've been uneasy having Quinn, a Cheerio, being that close to her and offering a kiss. If it were to have been Santana or Brittany she would've pushed them away and gotten the hell out of that restaurant, and it should've been the same for Quinn. But to her Quinn's approach didn't seem as hostile. If it had been Santana or Brittany she would have been mouth raped and it would be a haunting experience, but the fact Quinn asked permission instead of helping herself to some of that rich chocolate really made her think. Maybe she has changed, or she was always like this and she just couldn't see it until now.

Meanwhile Quinn was still inches away from her face, just smiling. It wasn't a sneaky flirty smile, it was a friendly one. _It's just a friend doing another friend a solid,_ Mercedes thought to herself. Th _at's all. Nothing too serious or intense, just one kiss. No big deal._

"Granted" Mercedes answered softly.

Quinn nodded slowly and ran her fingers through her dark hair, tilting her head slightly for room to move closer.

Mercedes knew what was coming, she was familiar with the cliche head tilt she often saw in movies. Cedes wondered if she would need to make any movements in response, but once Quinn's warm lips touched hers she lost all control of her body.

When Quinn locked her lips with her own, a rush of unexplainable giddiness rushed through her veins like a drug. As the kiss continued, all Quinn could focus on was making it last long as she possibly can. Strange, she could've sworn she heard a small outburst coming from the Cheerio table, but with a kiss this passionate everything happening outside of it was muffled and irrelevant.

 _Hope they enjoy the show_ Quinn smiled through the kiss.

Mercedes closed her eyes, experimenting to see if blocking her sense of sight would make the touch more mesmerizing. It worked.

It wasn't until that moment Mercedes finally found the secret of a first kiss. This is what it's supposed to feel like. The right moment, with the right girl, and the right feeling. She was so worried Quinn stealing her first kiss would ruin her only experience for something so perfect, like how Puck stole Quinn's virginity. To her absolute shock, she was wrong. Quinn was perfect for the job, and if she had spent her first kiss with anyone else she would've been dissatisfied and bored.

To Mercedes' misfortune, Quinn pulled away the second it started getting good. "Wow" Quinn was the first to react. "So...yeah. First kiss. Boosh" she closed her fingers into fists and opened them back up again, imitating fireworks.

Mercedes bit her lips softly and tried to turn her head toward the counter, only to have Quinn's hands push them back to face her. "It's best not to look at them, just imagine their jaws dropping at the hottest lesbian make out session they have probably seen in their lives."

The two stared at each other in silence, waiting for a reaction from Mercedes but she couldn't find it in her to speak.

"Well..." Quinn sucked her lips in and drummed her fingers on the table, "I should go. Your lip gloss tastes amazing by the way, you should wear it more often. Can I borrow it sometime?"

"You already did." Mercedes smirked, suddenly not so embarrassed anymore. Quinn laughed and stood up, walking toward the door.

"Wait!" Mercedes blurted out. Quinn turned her head back at her.

"Nice lips." Mercedes said with a giddy shrug and a giggle.

Quinn smiled at the compliment and returned it "Nice ass."

Mercedes slapped her hand over her mouth in shock, leaving Quinn to throw her head back in laughter and walk out.

"HEY! QUINN, YOUR SHIFT ISN'T OVER YET! GET BACK HERE!" A tiny Asian employee shreiked, but by then Quinn was out into the streets and trotting after the nearest bus.

The worker sighed and slumped his shoulders, turning to Mercedes. "Should we tell her she forgot her purse?"

"I'll give it to her tomorrow at school" Mercedes chuckled.

 **I'm not apologizing for that :) Kurt in next Chapter**


	2. Chapter 2

_**GUYS I'M SORRY! *gets sprayed with cold water* I didn't continue this story because when I was in the middle of writing chapter 2 I got into so many more fandoms and strayed from this one. Then I was gone for too long and my chapter 2 draft deleted itself. Well I decided I was going to finish what I started and continue. I remember the chapter I was drafting had to do with Kurt and Mercedes at lunch, I'll try to do my original plan or change it up. There's typos, I promise. I suck at proof reading.**_

* * *

 _Wow._

Quinn Fabray, a sophomore at Mckinley High and third girl in her school to get pregnant, still had charm. Sure, everyone pretty much hated her and soon she would be giving birth to a bastard child.

So why did she feel so giddy?

It was another day at Mckinley high school, but she swore she was in a movie. One of those movies where everyone is too happy for their own goods and just skips down the halls in slow motion.

Usually by the time she stepped foot in school, her anxiety started acting up and she'd start sprinting to homeroom to avoid confrontation. But right now, the world seemed still. She liked that.

The blonde ex-cheerio was wearing no makeup. Her hair fell over her shoulders in a graceful, while simultaneously messy way. Sure, she knew she'd run to Puck begging to help out with the baby, but she already had that conversation planned out in her head.

Puck would eagerly run up to her, looking like an idiot with his stupid mo-hawk, and apologize for not stepping up to help make money when he promised. He'll give her a "pretty-pretty-please!" and maybe even get down on one knee. He'll beg for another chance. Quinn would give him a menacing grin and refuse, telling him she had a hot new girlfriend that'll be way better at making love than he ever will.

Quinn grimaced, ugh, her fantasies were so sappy. If there was anything Quinn hated more than Puck, it was being sappy. It made her feel like Rachel Sappy Berry, and she'd rather drop dead than be like Rachel Berry.

 _Happy thoughts,_ Quinn scolded herself. She made her way to the water fountain, when she saw the queen bitch Santana Lopez strutting towards her.

 _Never mind, happy thoughts over._

"Hey you!" Santana barked, her eyes glaring deep into Quinn's, "Stay."

 _I'm not your pet,_ Quinn thought, but obeyed anyways.

When Santana finally approached her, Quinn knew there was something off about her. For the first time since they met, she was wasn't glaring at her. Her face was no longer wrinkled up in a snarl. Something was wrong.

Santana smirked, "We saw you kissing Mercedes at that Pizza place-"

And there it is. No matter how happy the movie may be, there's always that one moment where the glee just disappears into misery and anxiety.

Quinn could feel her stomach twist at the statement. Damn her, she just had to act in the moment! Kissing Mercedes? Was she out of her mind?

Santana tilted her head, waiting for a response, but how the hell was she supposed to answer that?

Quinn looked down at the fountain, what was wrong with her? She used to be filled with bubbling confidence and could take down Santana in a day.

Where did it go?

Was Santana laughing at her? Why did she keep tormenting her, didn't she have anything better to do?

Finally, Quinn looked her in the eye and murmured, "cool," so softly her lips barely moved.

"What?"

Quinn spun around and stormed off, scolding herself in her head.

* * *

"Kurt, you do this all the time and it's so annoying!" Mercedes yelled at her friend from across the table, eating tots at the same time. Lunch time at McKinely usually made Mercedes elated, but she felt nothing but bitterness toward her friend.

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Okay, okay! I'm sorry I didn't show up for pizza! Are you doing to be mad forever?"

"Yes!"

Kurt sighed. He was feasting on a salad and fries, which made Mercedes feel like she was overeating.

"Why didn't you come? I had to eat pizza all by myself."

"I just FORGOT!" Kurt snapped, "I'm sooo sorry. Here, let's have another pizza date on-"

"Forget it, there's no point."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at her, "What's wrong? Why are you being so standoffish?"

Mercedes grimaced, "Ugh, I hate that word."

"What? _'Standoffish'_?"

"Yes. The word sounds like it's made up. Like a stupid girl saying things like "uh, he's dumb- _ish_. She's funny- _ish_. It just sounds like a made up word."

Kurt smirked, "Well then I won't say it anymore."

"Sorry, my mind has been all over the place lately. Let's just talk about whatever."

As Kurt went on to tell a story, Mercedes eyes gazed over towards Quinn Fabray walking through to the lunch line. Her face was free of make up and her hair no longer looked like it had hairspray tested on my an animal on it. Yet she still looked so elegant and princess-like. And she was eating! She didn't know Cheerios did that. Well, she wasn't a cheerleader anymore.

Puck was sneaking past people in line, a predatory grin placed upon his face. He came up behind Quinn and clenched her butt. Quinn swiped his hand away and glared at him.

Mercedes was disgusting by it all and wondered how she could ever put up with him.

"Slut alert," Kurt scoffed, following Mercedes' gaze to Quinn Fabray.

Mercedes glared at Kurt, "What?"

"I mean I don't feel bad for her. All those Cheerios are the same, aren't they? Maybe she finally got what was coming."

Mercedes could feel her face heat up. How could he be so cold? "Kurt, I'm surprised at you! She's no Santana, she's better than that."

Kurt narrowed his eyes at her, "I didn't know you two were friends."

"Yeah, we are. So don't talk about my friend like that."

"Why would you want to be friends with her? Isn't she an awful person? Aren't they all homophobic morons?" Now Kurt was the one being standoffish.

Mercedes didn't blame him. He had a rough history with jocks, and she wasn't going to hold that against him. But Quinn was different. And absolutely not homophobic, she knew that for sure.

"Why are you smiling?" Kurt asked.

"Huh?" Mercedes broke out of her daze.

"You were smiling! Oh my god was it a cute boy? Who his he? WHERE?" Kurt sat up in his seat, tracking down the entire cafeteria like he was part of the FBI.

"Don't worry about it Kurt, eat your salad."

 **SORRY**


	3. Chapter 3

***walks up to microphone* um, what are you supposed to say in these beginning parts again?**

 **There will be typos, I promise. I was listening to the Heathers soundtrack while writing this so I was getting turnt and may have made a mistake or two.**

* * *

When Glee rehearsal began, Quinn's mood had completely deflated. She didn't know why, or what happened to cause it to do so, her glee just...disappeared. Earlier in the day, Quinn could've sworn she was dancing in mid air, a bright cheerio-worthy smile on her face. But hours later, gravity finally caught up to her and slammed her onto the concrete covered in broken glass. Quinn's felt like one of Rachel Berry's sweaters. Lousy.

Quinn selected her seat in the upper corner, where she could be alone and also get a great view of Mercedes' seat at the front row to her left. She was chatting excitedly with Artie and Tina, right in the middle of Rachel's solo. Quinn smirked, she admired how Mercedes did not give a fuck. Lately, Quinn had been giving far too many fucks.

As she gazed around the room, she noticed Kurt was staring directly at her. Sadly, she had selected a seat right behind Kurt, giving him direct access to her attention. _Not_ what she wanted.

"I didn't realize you and Mercedes were such good friends," Kurt said, not out of jealousy, but suspicion. As if he thought she was going to brainwash Mercedes.

 _That's a weird way to start a conversation,_ Quinn rolled her eyes so far back she could see her brain cells die. Her thoughts wrestled with themselves, debating over what to respond. Ever since she lost her power, it's been so much harder to make decisions. When a loser cut into her personal bubble back when she was on top, the world seemed to slow down and with the flick of her wrist her target would be begging for mercy.

"You better not be pretending to like her to make fun of her. I'd think you'd learn your lesson ever since you lost your crown," Kurt continued. Kurt couldn't catch a hint with a baseball mitt.

Now, while the world still seemed to slow, all it did was make her feel suffocated and helpless. Mercedes was all the way across from her, chatting with Artie during Rachel Berry's solo. The entire club seemed to be ignoring Rachel's dumb crybaby song and talked to their neighbors.

"Hello?" Kurt asked expectantly. Quinn turned her head away from him, too annoyed to bother to respond, too busy thinking about Mercedes. Even though they hadn't talked all day she wished they were closer. But would it be too weird? After the kiss thing? Did she even care?

All throughout the day Quinn had stared at Mercedes, waiting for her to come up to her and speak. Quinn hated waiting for people, yet Mercedes was an exception.

No one but Puck had spoken to her all day, how could being debunked from the Cheerios result in no one caring her? It wasn't until Quinn lost her power when she finally realized the high school system _sucks_.

All it takes is a Cheerio uniform and everyone loves you, but when it's taken off you're trash? Power is asserted by bullying people?

Quinn wanted to slap herself, she had taken part in it, all of it. She cursed herself for just realizing it now, she cursed herself for enjoying being at the top. This was not the society she wanted to be a part of.

This was ridiculous. Either you're pretty and a jock, or high school is a nightmare. And there was _**nothing**_ she could do about it.

 _Suicide_ , Quinn thought to herself. She tried to shake it off, it wasn't the first time she thought of taking her life away. Still...her misbehaving mind lingered towards the idea. _As an act of protest towards the ridiculous standards high school has to offer_ , Quinn brainstormed, _when they see what these ridiculous high school expectations do to people maybe they'll finally stop._

Quinn almost had to smile, it was perfect. Nothing else seems to work, might as well show the students how hazardous their high school fantasies are. Still, as her brain always did, she thought of a negative variable.

 _Beth_.

Could she did that to Beth, die with her still inside? She didn't _want_ to be pregnant, but putting Beth through her high school angst felt cruel.

"I'll wait," she whispered to herself, "I'll wait for my baby girl to come out. Then, I will have the guts to kill myself and leave Puck or someone with her."

The bell rang, and like mice everyone seemed to scatter. Quinn stayed put, still exploring her plan to end the hell-like practices of high school. Mercedes walked right past her, too distracted with her conversation with Tina to look at her. Quinn wondered if Mercedes would support her plan, she hated high school just as much as she did. Maybe she'd agree. About to stand up, Quinn thought about telling her. _No, you'll just pull her down,_ Quinn thought, _she's too pure for this._

Quinn suddenly felt hollow, never in thousands of hundreds of years could she predict herself ending up in this situation, her high pony and cheerio position snatched off. Having to wear things that didn't show off her stomach. And she deserved it, she knew she did. All her life, Quinn assumed she was just doing what she needed to be popular. But it wasn't until after karma decided to point its finger at her that she realized she was a blemish on the face of this earth.

Every night she prayed and prayed, wishing every wrinkle in her life away! After given no answer, Quinn started to believe that God was laughing at her. This was her punishment.

The blonde pressed the palms of her hands together in prayer mode, holding her breath in anticipation as she hoped for a sign. Nothing. Slumping her shoulders, Quinn began to wonder if there was anyone up there listening to her at all.

Quinn exhaled deeply, "Just a couple more months." She murmured to an empty room. The last member to leave had turned off the light, leaving Quinn in the dark. She wondered how she'd do it, knives, pills, rope?

"Cross that bridge when we get to it," Quinn looked down at her tiny baby bump and stood up. Quinn looked once more at her cross necklace, hoping she was wrong about rethinking her religion. Yet this is where she was now, what's the point?

Quinn quickly slipped off her cross necklace, the one she'd worn all her life, and tossed it away from her, and left.

* * *

 **Btw I wasn't trying to offend anyone with Quinn loosing faith in God and taking off her cross necklace, it was suppose to represent her loosing faith.**


End file.
